Family

For a long time i have been thinking about writing about my family. For many reasons i stopped to do so. i could never write about it on facebook. My blog on the other hand is more private and confidential. When i instantly decided to write the last post i came to realize that i begun to forget many things mostly stories i have heard from my grandfather ( my dad never talks about anything that happned to him in past or our family, he just hates the fact that things arent the way they used to be)
The fact that i have spent most of my childhood with my late grandfather explains why i am the person i am. I AM SO OLD FASHIONED. it is painful for me i can not c connect to others. even the ones i want to, do not understand me. I have to hide much of myself things that are important. i will sound like i am pretentious if i talk about them. YEs i am so proud of them I am so proud of my family. thanks to the past 30 years of islamic republic rule over Iran my family became smaller and smaller my dad is pretty much the last member of the once Amin al zarb family living in Iran. The next few posts wont be historically accurate i try to read on the subject and people as i write but then most of them is based on the stories and memories i have heard from my grandfather many years ago.
i grow up in a way that i felt almost ashamed toward my past the glories past. my moms family had strong ties to the current government of iran so they made me feel ashamed of my fathers family. so many sad things happened to my dad in the 1980s that he tried to forget all about the good old days. almost as Shakespeare said :


"O, no! the apprehension of the good, Gives but the greater feeling to the worse."